I did it.
I’m not sure why, because I know better.
I saw an article written by a mother lamenting her shear exhaustion, physically and mentally, from the unrelenting caretaking that comes with parenting young children. It was the kind of thing that we all should nod our heads in understanding and say, “Oh I’ve been there, hang on Mama.” But I knew right away, I knew the comments would be critical, would be mean.
Because we do this to each other don’t we ladies. One of us is vulnerable and brave sharing their hard, sharing their real, and so often it’s pounced upon – as if we somehow stand a little taller when someone else is down.
And so I knew I shouldn’t read the comments, because my heart breaks every time we fall prey to this ugly cycle.
Yet, I read them. Honestly, I think I was hoping to be surprised, that maybe as women, as mothers, we might be finally getting past this.
But there they were, the same comments I’ve seen so many other times.
“If she hates motherhood this much, she shouldn’t be a mother.
People like her shouldn’t have children.
Her kid’s going to have issues.
Some people can’t have children, and she’s complaining about hers.
Modern mothers have done this to themselves.
It’s called parenthood, you chose it, you deal with it.”
They go on. I know you’ve seen them too. And probably your heart cringes each time you read them, because you know…
We’ve got to stop this.
When a woman, a mother, opens up and says she’s struggling, admits she’s exhausted, confesses she’s overwhelmed, she feels that way for one reason.
She is all in. (And why on earth is that a call to shame her?)
She has thrown every bit of her heart and soul into loving and caring for her children. She would very literally die for them. But if she lets slip that sometimes she’s feeling a little (or a lot) worn by the enormous weight of it all, well then release the wolves.
Ladies, let’s pull each other up! Hold each other up. Cheer loudly! Drop the make-believe competition. Stop shaming someone else’s story. Remember we’re on the same team! Let’s say “Me too” and “You’re not alone” and “You’re doing big things, and you’re doing great.” Let’s allow one another to say out loud that this is hard – it IS!
Mothers are a force all on their own. But together? Friends, together mothers are downright unstoppable.
I know we’re each out here, showing up every day, trying our very best to raise good humans.
Let it begin with us.
Let US, be good humans.