We're in the weeds over here.
The kind you tangle with when your heart is broken.
Our beloved dog of 17 years has passed. And every single member of the family is working through grief.
It is nothing short of awful.
He was an ever present steady in our home. He's been with my husband and I for almost half of our lives, and our children have only known life that includes him.
He was our family.
He's been through it all with us. He's made the good days better. And he's been our comfort on the hard days... every single time.
So losing him...
And as I'm looking around the room at my family, I'm noticing that everyone's heart looks a little bit different as it breaks.
But it's breaking none the less.
One child pulled his body into the small nook of the couch, and hid his wet face behind a frisbee.
One argued NO.
One climbed into our laps, hung on tight and breathed out big loud cries.
One stared silently and blankly forward.
...No outward expression. But to know him, is to understand the depth of his feeling - often beneath his outward composure. So when it was just he and I, I told him that I knew how much he was hurting, even if not displayed. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He continued to stare forward, but replied...
"No. But I like that you just know. It helps that you know."
And I kinda just sat with that for a minute. Because that's just it isn't it?
It helps when someone just knows.
And maybe... that's why it's so darn hard to loose your dog.
No words needed. No matter the situation. No matter what.
They just know.
… and that’s a lot to lose.